Fundamentals

Well, to further cement my choice for the next leader of the free world, John McCain, Monday, said the stupidest thing a human being has muttered since “subliminable.” When addressing supporters at a town hall meeting, he claimed that “the fundamentals of our economy are strong,” ripping off the President. My reply to that is, “what the hell country are you living in?” I guess to a man who can’t remember how many houses he owns, the economy must be doing okay. To a man whose chief campaign advisor is an oil-company lobbyist, whose profits are at record highs, the economy must be really booming. To someone whose last 18 months have been paid for by donors, the economy must seem wonderful. The rest of us, however, know we’re fucked.

 

Three fifths of this nation’s lenders crumpled, Monday. That’s more than half, for those of us not so good at math. The subprime housing market is in shambles, and the Dow took a 500 point plunge. But I guess that could be a normal cycle of the free market, right? But with the U.S. Dollar reaching record lows, based solely on trust in a government whose Department of the Interior took bribes from oil companies in the form of sex and cocaine, foreign investors are set to make a killing bailing out our failed economy. Meanwhile, the government is bailing out yet another industry that is “Too Big To Let Fail.” That is a solid lump of unadulterated shit. CEOs of companies that ripped off homeowners are free to bring in their million dollar salaries, while the average American loses his home while his job is sent overseas by the Chinese company that just bought out his employer. Does this make any sense? How come the free market is left to self-regulate, and then bailed out when it’s greed catches up to it? Now taxpayers are forced to fund the very companies that sold their house on the auction block. This won’t fix our economy, it will destroy it. Add to this an entire generation of veterans coming home maimed and without means of support, fighting a civil war that costs us ten billion a month in a country with a surplus, with no hope of a return on investment. Is this another situation where I am missing a piece of the puzzle?

 

That douche-bag Brown Haired Guy Who’s Not Steve Doocy from Fox News said that “being for the soldiers, but against the mission is like being a Vikings fan and saying ‘I really don’t want them to win the Super Bowl.’” Which makes him a fucking moron. How many of my colleagues, classmates and friends have done tours in Iraq? Do I want them fighting and dying in a conflict that will bring America nothing? We stand to gain nothing from this war, and if you say, “security,” I’ll punch you in the neck. Iraq has never been a threat. Terrorists are, but we’re not fighting them. We’re making them. Whether we are succeeding or not (we are) is irrelevant. It’s like winning a poker tournament that has no prize. So we did it. All we gain is debt and death. Being for the soldiers but against the mission is like being a Vikings fan and saying, “They need to get the fuck off of Wrigley Field.” We are dumping money and lives into a foreign country so that other countries can buy us out. Sense is not being made.

 

My favorite V.P. candidate said today that she was “disappointed” by the bail-out, which is the smartest thing she’s been told to say, yet. But let’s not offer alternatives, the Democrats can do that, while we make fun of them for checking tire pressure, and then steal their ideas when we’re in office. All I hear from the McCain camp is “Change, change, change…” But no plans. No policy. Nothing at all to back up the claim that they will do anything differently. Give me something, Senator. Anything, please.

 

So what are these fundamentals? McCain, in a historical back-pedaling, claimed they were the hard-working productivity of the American people. Bullshit. Mexicans and Russians are famously hard workers with bad economies. Why? The fundamentals of their economies are unsound. We can work a hard as we want to, but unregulated business owned by foreign investors will bring America very little. What’s that? It’s a spade. Call it, Senator. And tell me how you’re going to fix it. And telling me about your experience on some sub-committee isn’t an answer. I’ve been playing guitar for ten years, and know like four chords. Gimmie some proof, sir. I guess if you judge the fundamentals of an economy as not trading goats for wives, we’re doing pretty damned good.